Duathlon work out

Today, to simulate a long run, I did a proper duathlon. This is nothing new as I have been averaging 10/miles/day on foot and 31/miles/day on the bike, but never had I done the two together, in one work out.

First off, I started with a nice and easy 10k (seriously slow and relaxed). For the run, I wound my way around time, ultimately ending up at the gym at the end of 10k. I hopped on the bike and threw down. My intention was to put in about 30k at an easy pace, but I was feeling so solid and strong I pushed it at a hard effort for 50k. After the 50k ride I hopped back on the road to complete the work out with a couple of easy running miles back to my house. All told, a great work out. It was like running 18-20, with the impact of 8-10 running miles.

Work out: 10k/run, 50k/tempo bike ride, 4k/run

This week in training...

It is Friday night, which means,that another week of training is in the books. What a great week. I hit all of my work outs, as planned, and am feeling strong and smooth. Yesterday, proved a bit of a bear. My morning run ruined me - I was a complete wreck after it, but pushed through my afternoon work out anyways and felt better for it. I am fairly certain that yesterday's run was a wash because I ran tense and somewhat irritated,annoyed and angry. This morning, I ran with joy and a smile on face and completed a nice and easy 12 miler without blinking. What a difference attitude makes. Mind over matter is no joke. Be positive. Think yourself strong and you will be strong. Think yourself smooth and you will move gracefully.

Here is what the week looked liked (in miles):

SA: 33/bike, 8.25/run
SU: 33/bike/core/lift
M: 30/bike, 8.25/run (tempo ride and tempo run)
TU: 30/bike/lift, 10/run
W: 34/bike
TH: 30/bike/lift,9.5/run
F: 31/bike, 13/run

Totals: 49/run (5 runs), 221/bike (7 rides)

When it rains it pours, new shoes galore

In the last two weeks, both Saucony and New Balance have sent me sample shoes to wear-test. What a blessing. After burning through a pair of shoes every two weeks last year, my appetite for shoe shopping has been somewhat curbed. Free? Not a problem. I will take what I can get and what I have gotten recently has been plenty.

The Sauconys are great, a pair of Triump 7s. They are a very stiff, well supported and cusioned neutral trainer. A bit too stiff for my liking, but I can see the value in such a rigid sole as it guides the stride. After week of training in them my feelings are mixed. Mostly, I am pleased. The shoe has provided just the sort of stiffness and support I have been needing to get my strike and stride back on track, while supporting my healing foot.

I went out for my first run in the New Balances this morning. Apparently, New Balance is testing out a new material for the outsole. I don't know the details of the material, but I do know how I feel about these shoes. Awesome. They have significantly more flexion than the Sauconys. They too, are a neutral trainer, but with an impressive amount of response and control. The upper-body breaths easy and hugs the foot much more lovingly than the Sauconys (by this I mean they are comfortably conforming. The tread on these bad boys is meaty. They have a high, raised-heel, with gnarly trail treads on the front. They performed splendidly on the roads, ice, snow and trails this morning (I think rubber, as in treadmill, is the only surface I did not interact with on my morning run). Too, they are noticably lighter than the Saucony. All told, they are a great multi-terrain, well-cushioned neutral trainer. Can't wait to put some more miles on them.

Updates on Copper Canyon training, as well as more info on travel arrangements and fundraising coming soon...

Week recap

I am feeling great. Sort of a similar report to last week. This a good thing. Consistency is what I am shooting for in this training cycle leading up to CCUM. My phantom foot pain is becoming evermore phantomful, which is to say is fading from my subconcious, which, consequently, has pretty well vanquished my worry bones of marrow. Good stuff. Foot feels great (and new shoes from Saucony, currently, wear-testing the Triumph 7s).

I had my first official "long-run" this week (10 miles). This, of course, is relative - last year, at this time, my short runs were 11-12 miles. Slow and steady she goes. But it is a scheduled time, each week, where I run my farthest. I will be adding 2-3 miles to this run each week.

I solidified my travel plans from El Paso to Urique and back this week. Now, all that is needed, is a plane ticket to get to El Paso and I am set. I am working on a letter of support, which I intend to send out sometime next week to my closest family and friends, making a plea on behalf of myself for support in travels and donations for the Tarahumara.

This week in training:

SA: 8/run, 30/bike, core
SU: 33/bike, core/lift
M: 7.5/run, 31/bike, core
T: 7.5/run, 31/bike, core/lift
W: 33/bike (tempo ride), core
TH: 10/run, 31/bike, core
F: 8/run, 30-31/bike, core

Totals: 41/run, 219-220/bike

Week recap

A total turn around week. At the end of last week, I wasn't sure what to think of the sort of responses my legs were giving me - pain in my left leg, a phantom twinge in my left foot, a case of lingering soreness (post run) in my right knee. Not one of these problems proved severe - they have all been slight - but they have been no less discouraging. Instead of brashly slogging through the pains, or ceasing and desisting completely, I took action. Continuing with my planned training, I added some form work into my running sessions, SIRIE (stretching, ibuprofen, rest, ice and elevation) to the troubled spots, some spot massaging and a positive outlook on all of it. The change has been dramatic. I am feeling great. My legs are feeling strong. I am already noticing increased power and strength from the lifting that I have been doing every other day for several weeks now. Good stuff. I am feeling positive about where things are going. I have a plan! For once! It is nice to work within this newly defined framework. Here is what the last week of training looked like:

221/biking miles (key workout - 32 mile tempo)
30/running miles (key workout - 8 mile tempo)
4/lifting days, 7/core days

15.5 training/hours

Combined (biking/running) effort mileage: 118.4 miles

Feeling like a million bucks.

Full-moon run, take two

So, yesterday morning (Dec. 1st) around 1AM I rolled out of bed eager as a beaver to enjoy the otherworldliness of a moonlit trail run. I dressed myself for the weather, snapped open the front door, and... snow. It was snowing. No moon to speak of. I was up and pumped to run, so headed out the door with a renewed sense of outcome: Dec. 1st, 2009 was going to be the host of a snowy 1AMer, not a full-moon run as originally planned.

This morning, at 1AM, I rolled out of bed. Take two. Today, anyways, was the actual full-moon. I cracked open the door, holding my breath, hoping for a clear, cold, blast of lunar light. Sucess! A clear night. I headed out blissfully. One of the more peaceful runs of my life. I took her nice, easy and steady. My headlamp proved unncessary, even in the woods, this morning; the moon was that reflective. Yeehaw. It was one of the more lovely 7-8 milers I can remember. Short, but I am getting there. Slow and steady wins the race.

The point of this post is this: if at first you don't succeed make the most of what has been dealt and try again. You will not be disappointed.

November by the numbers

Another month training log down in the books. November has come and gone. What a difference in training approaches from November 2008 to November 2009. My shape is coming slowly, but surely, as I continue to say, as my legs get used to running again.

I am overcoming a bout of hamstring tendinitis in my left leg, as a result of an usual gait acquired while sporting 'the boot'. Stretching, specialized strength training, ibuprofen and ice should see me through the recovery without significantly altering my training regimen. All is well though. I am taking each day as it comes and training sensibly.

November 2009 by the numbers:

967/miles - bike (32.2/miles/day)
70/miles - run
29/days - core work
7/ days - strength training

A fair amount of biking miles in the last 30 days. The bike has been my saving grace during my return to running, post stress-fracture. By contrast, November 2008 saw 526/miles (18/miles/day) of running and 20 some days of core work, with no strength training or biking.

I am on the road to Copper Canyon and feeling fine. I am hopeful that my left leg will continue to strengthen and that overall, my body will continue to grow stronger day-by-day, as to put me in a good and healthy shape for the Copper Canyon Ultra Marathon.

(Just for kicks I did some calculations on the costs of each of those stationary miles: at 26 dollars a month gym membership and 967 miles/stationary riding for November, each mile came at a cost of $0.026. Pretty reasonable, really. Each minute on the bike (roughly 2417.5 minutes, or 40hrs 19.5mins for November) ends up $0.01075. A real bang for the buck. And, the cheapest thrills are often the most rewarding.)

This week in training...

First off, feeling great. Just awesome. I am dialing in on a good training regimen. My running mileage is increasing slowly but surely. I had my first day off the bike in well over a month (the gym was closed for the holiday). It was a nice day of rest, with an easy 7 miler. Next week will mark the beginning of back-to-back running days and the introduction of a longer run 8-10 miles, which will then build by 2 miles a week subsequently. This week (in miles):

SA: 37/bike, core/lifting
SU: 32.5/bike, 6.5/run, core
M: 33.5/bike (progression), core
T: 32.5/bike, 7/run, core
W: 45/bike, core/lifting
TH: 7/run, core
F: 45.5/bike, core/lifting

Total: 226/bike, 20.5/run

I am so thankful for this life. My friends, family, my health, the ability and stamina to be able to train hard (and enjoy it), my job, second chances, Missoula, the future, and, now truly, The Creator's gift of life and peace through it all. God bless.

This week in training...

A really solid week thus far. My progress, again, is slow, but steady. I feel like I have so much more in me and am holding back. Surely, soon enough, as early as the beginning of January, I will be wondering how I ever felt strong and reserved. For now, the build-up continues to that point. So far this week (in miles):

SA: 37/bike, core/lifting
SU: 32.5/bike, 6.5/run, core
M: 33.5/bike (progression), core
T: 31-33/bike, 7/run, core

My runs have been effortless. It is difficult to stop at my pre-determined stopping points, because I am usually feeling so great and wouldn't be opposed to running forever, but I know better. The moment I realize that I have pushed it too far with my healing foot will be the same moment that it is too late. Patience, patience, patience. Peace.

Copper Canyon Ultra Marathon

Well, I am in. It is official. I am going to Mexico in March to run the Coppery Canyon Ultra Marathon with the Tarahumara. Gringos vs. Raramuri. The logistics of the travel have to be hammered out, but my application has been accepted for the race and one of my dreams is on the cusp of being fully realized. The race is March 7th. 47 miles of running through a network of canyon and chasms with some of the greatest long distance runners in the world. I am stoked. Training-wise, the beginning of March could not be a better time. My newest regime has my fitness peaking towards the end of Feb. Yeehaw.

The first three days o' the week

The first three days of my training week have been rock solid. I am getting stronger by the day. My work outs have been challenging yet palatable (both in mind and body). I am very comfortable with where my training is at and where it is going. It is finally beginning to feel like I am on target for something great and within my physiological means. Training is all about building capacity, not destroying your body en route to race day, so you show up at the line wrecked. It is a fine line, to be sure - pushing fitness and staying healthy - but I feel like I am staying the course, on the healthy side of that divide. So far this week (in miles):

SA: 33/bike (intervals, hard effort for 50k), 4.5/run, core
SU: 36/bike, lifting/core
M: 5/run, 31/bike/core

A disjointed, yet satisfactory Monday

Today has unfolded exactly counter to how it was envisaged. Here is how:

1) I slept through my 5AM run... Strike one
2) Forgot my stocking cap, not realizing that fact until I was well away from the house and noticed that it would be a nice day for a stocking cap... ball, just a ball
3) In a moment of empowered redemption, I hopped off the bus at the rec center to 'take two' on my morning run. When I neared the entryway to the rec center it occurred to me that I didn't have the mandatory university identification card on me (it was in a different pair of pants back home - along with my stocking cap) to gain access to the treadmill... Strike two
4) Slightly disappointed by my second strike, I gathered myself and made a new plan. Mid-morning, after a couple of hours of work, I would run home and grab my Griz Card. This, of course, would kill two birds with one stone - it would make for a nice little 5 miler and would afford me the opportunity to retrieve my Griz Card for my afternoon workout... Home run


The run was great, really great. I retrieved my Griz Card as planned and got back to work, without incident. This Monday is back on track. I hope that your, the reader, Monday never hinted at derailment. (I apologize for the disjointed metaphors, but alas, the title of this post more or less required the inconsistency.)

Week's end

It feels great to have completed my training week (Saturday through Friday) by 7:30AM of Friday morning. Another solid week. I felt really strong on the bike this morning - this coming off of a challenging week. Here it is:

SA: 31/bike, lifting/core
SU: 35/bike, 4/run, core
M: 30/bike (hard effort/high cadence), lifting/core
TU: 4/run/core, 31/bike
W: 34/bike, core
TH: 4.5/run, 32/bike, core
F: 33/bike (high cadence, moderate heart-rate)

Week totals: 226/bike, 12.5/run

Consistency in training

This well-planned, cautious return to running after my broken foot has caused me to value consistency and structure in training. I have been sticking religiously to the every other day 4 mile run. Though on the off days I desire greatly (at first at least, not so much anymore, now appreciating the break) to run, I don't. Consequently, I am - wait for it - fluid and strong on my days on. This is a "no duh", of course. My body is able to rest, recover, etc., etc. This is the first time in my training life that I have lived out such a practice. That is, this is the first time I have ever factored rest into my weekly training. Now, I should say, that I am averaging 31 miles/day, everyday on the bike to supplement. Anyways, I am feeling great, truly great and really enjoying my runs on my days on.

Today, I accidentally went out at about 7-7:30 pace. I meant to take it slower, but didn't feel like I was pushing it at that pace. It felt like a casual stroll through the park, which it was. I can't wait to start running fast again. Next week, I will insert a 5 miler in there. It is good to be feeling good and balanced again. I am keeping my time to 14 hours a week of training - that is my cap. It is enough time to get some quality training in, but not so much as to detract from other equally important aspects of life.

Have good days.

Getting back on track

So, by a rather abstract effort equation that I contrived, I am getting back on track with my training - and not a moment too soon. The equation is simple; 1 mile of running at an easy pace is equal to 2.5-3 miles of stationary biking (2.5 for a hard effort and 3 for an easy). The factor for the stationary bike is based on calories burned/time elapsed per mile/perceived effort. By this standard my last week of training was a 93.2 mile week (87.2 effort on the bike and 6.1 real miles running). This week I will be crossing the threshold of 100. I can't say miles, because it really isn't. The effort factor, I guess it could be called. Regardless, it is based on running miles, so could be read as running miles. Of course, the virtue of the bike is it's low impact nature. Those equivalent effort miles on the bike fall well short of the true impact miles of running. The balance of running and biking miles will be slowly be shifting in favor of the running miles as I regain strength/confidence in my foot until I begin running, in earnest, in December. The effort factor, however, will remain relatively unchanged. I am at a tenable level right now and plan to maintain this at around 100-120 miles/week. Anyways, here is what my week has looked like thus far (in actual miles):

SA: 31/bike, lifting/core
SU: 35/bike, 4/run, core
M: 30/bike (hard effort/high cadence), lifting/core
TU: 4/run/core, 31/bike

Running miles

This last week of training saw some actual running. It was glorious! I cannot tell you how great it is to be comfortably striding on my feet again. The last week in training (in miles):

SA: 28/bike
SU: 33/bike
M: 28/bike (hard effort)
TU: 34/bike
W: 31/bike (high cadence) 3/jog

TH: 33/bike (easy)

F: 32/bike (hard effort, high cadence) 3.1/run

Totals: 218/bike, 6.1/running, 7 days of core

I am a runner

My podiatrist gave me the go ahead to begin running again. Yesterday, I jogged out a 3 miler. It was glorious. I took it nice and slow and had no problems with the foot. I will begin doing this every other day for a couple of weeks and begin to build longer runs into the every other day cycle. Also, yesterday, after work, I co-led a little running group of 2nd and 3rd graders at an area afterschool program. This program is to become a staple of my life. It was a blast. It is so great to be running and serving again. I had nearly forgotten what joy I get from both. Yeehaw!

SA: 28/bike
SU: 33/bike
M: 28/bike (hard effort)
TU: 34/bike
W: 31/bike (high cadence) 3/jog

I hope that everyone is having a great week.

The last three days

The last three days have seen some quality stationary bike training.

Saturday: 28 miler at a mid-range gear/high cadence (core/weight training)
Sunday: easy 33 miler (core/bands)
Monday: hard 28 miler high gear/high cadence (light core)

Training has been going really well. Though at this point, I am in much better shape to race on a bike than on my feet. That will all be changing soon. My plan as I get back to running - hopefully this week - is to of course introduce runs slowly, but to continue supplementing my training with stationary biking. I have come to see/experience the potential of low-impact/high intensity endurance rides. Lower mileage running? I do not think that my legs will object. More than the physiological benefits of supplementing my ultra training with low-impact work outs, the variety will be a counterweight to the psychological redundancy that running can become.

Last week in training...

Just completely another great week on the stationary bike. 194 miles last week. I am starting to get the itch to run again. And not a moment to soon. It is nearly time. This week I will see my podiatrist to get a feel for how to get back to running. My foot feels 100%, but I am sure is still healing and thus I will take it easy as I ease back into training. My cardio is solid. I have biked no less than 26.5 miles everyday for the last 2-3 weeks and logged something close to 700 miles of stationary biking in Oct. My heart is strong; 40 bpm at rest and 135-140 at a pretty decent effort on the bike with many tempo rides maintaining 160-170 bpm for an hour. It will be interesting to see how I return to running after a fair amount of cross training.

Snowing on a Tuesday: I am eating an apple and so might you be

The scene:

Currently, I am listening to Coldplay, eating an apple, watching the snow begin to fall from the comfort of my office. It is Tuesday.

Now, it is not just any Tuesday. This one, this particular day of the week, is unique. It is Tuesday, Oct. 27th, 2009: The First and The Last (caps because the moniker is likely to become normalized as a proper noun worthy of everyone's respect). Hear you me, this is the last. The last Tuesday, Oct. 27th, 2009 for some time. It is possible that man's system of time is cyclical, but it is highly unlikely that things will ever reset to a point previous to this date. Even if a new system of timekeeping was created and implemented, eliminating our present one, thousands of years in the making, it is highly improbable to expect Oct. 27th, 2009 to fall on a Tuesday, again. You see this? No? It is crazy talk; crazy talk to think that another Tues., Oct. 27th, 2009 will occur, either in this universe, a parallel one, or in a parallel one that decides to reset it's clock. The odds are greatly in favor of that NOT happening, a repeat of Tues., Oct. 27th, 2009.

So, don't fret, my friends. Enjoy today, Tuesday, Oct. 27th, 2009. Cherish every moment of this wonderful, rare sort of day/date combination. It is truly unique. Love it. Love it like it is the last sort of day/date combination of this type that you will ever have the chance to love and cherish. Then know - live on this hope - that tomorrow provides a comparatively unique scenario.

The snow has abated and I ought to get back to work. Coldplay continues to ring through my underpowered desktop computer speakers and my boredom has come full circle. Back to work.

Week Recap

Well, it looks as if I may be running in a couple of weeks. My foot has been healing rather quickly and I suspect that my podiatrist will give me the go ahead at my next appointment. Slow and steady wins the race this time around. Just in time, this healing, as I am beginning to get the itch to run again.

Last week I achieved my weekly fitness goal of stationary cycling 200+ miles. 203 miles in 7 rides. I put in a hard 35 miler on Friday to meet, and then surpass, the benchmark. Every one of those miles was with a good effort. Though 200+/week is no thing for cyclists, it proved almost difficult, in turns of time. The miles fly by on the cycle, of course, when compared with running. The thing that I still can't get my mind around is the fact that 203 miles isn't even my furthest distance travelled in a week via self-propulsion. I had a 204 mile running week last September. Thought of that sort of running mileage currently makes my knees quake. Anyways, it was a great week of cycling. My fitness is good. My heart is strong.

Lord of the Rings

Frodo, Bilbo, Gandalf, Gloin, Lagelas, Elrond, Strider, Sam and Tom are my favorite characters of Middle Earth. Gandalf is likely the most venerable. Tom is rather likable as well. Frodo and Bilbo, of course, are the carriers of The Ring and, consequently, rise as inextricable, lovable Hobbit-folk. Great characters. Gloin is fairly hard-edged dwarf. Strider is an incredible ranger. Elrond is godlike. Lagelas an excellent archer and Sam is, well, Sam is loyal and astute.


So far this week in stationary biking (in miles):

SA: 28 (tempo)
SU: 32
M: 26
TU: 27 (high, steady heart-rate)
W: 28 (high RPM)

This may end up being a 200+ mile stationary bike week, it may not. We will see.

Bilbo Baggins, stationary century, etc.

I just finished my first go around with "The Hobbit". A delicious read. And I mean delicious in the truest sense of the word. It was tasty. Sometimes we eat - now I am talking about food - for nourishment, sometimes for health, often for both. Sometimes we eat food simply because it is delicious - it tastes a little like heaven though it may give us a little hell. "The Hobbit" is delicious. It is a tasty adventure tracking the journey of Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf and the dwarves as they battle goblins, elves, Smaug and wargs en route to reclaiming a treasure that rightfully belongs to the small, bearded-folk. Bilbo is the champion of the ring and the champion of stepping out of a homely comfort zone. Through Bilbo we learn that when adventure knocks at our door, challenging our beliefs and assumptions of the world - oh dreadful risk! - we are foolish to pass, lest we die standing up. Thank you Tolkien.

I just completed another stationary bike intensive week. Here it is:

SA: 26 miles

SU: 24 miles

M: core work out

TU: 14 miles

W: 28 miles (intervals)/core

TH: 26 miles

F: 27 miles (intervals)/core

145 miles total

I have decided to have a go at a stationary century ride. My goal is to put in the 100 miles in less than 4.5 hours. I don't think that this will be a problem - it won't be easy, but it will be a nice challenge. I will probably go for it next weekend. Game on.

Etc. - I have begun the transition back to shoes. My left foot is healing quickly. I have been wearing stiff-soled, hiking books every other day, in lieu of the left boot. Feels great to walk with some semblance of normalcy. A couple more weeks and I should be able to start jogging again. Yeehaw. But all in good time. If it takes longer, fine. I am fine with that. The point is to heal fully. That is what I am aim to do.

This week in training

Whelp, I did a lot of stationary cycling this week. Quite honestly, that is all I can do for my heart presently. Swimming is out of the question. I am a horrible swimmer. Now, let me be clear, I can swim and for quite awhile, but I am in no way an efficient or graceful swimmer. I am a thrasher, to be sure. I admit this could all be changed if I buckled down and focused on becoming a good swimmer. Without question, such a move would be a boon to my training - both broken foot and in full health -, but presently, I have absolutely no desire (in fact, my stomach churns at the very idea - the antipathy of desire, the abhorrence of my day) to fight the precocious throngs of fish at the university pool. The very thought of the time - the total percentage of my day dedicated to that which I am not keen on - required to change, swim, shower and change again is, well, insurmountable at this juncture in my training life.

In short, I don't own goggles.

This week in training (stationary biking miles):

SA: 14 miles, weight lifting/core

SU: 25 miles

M: 20 miles

TU: 22 miles, core

W: Off

TH: 27 miles (intervals), core

F: 19 miles

Total: 127 miles

Lying by omission

Yesterday I had an appointment with a podiatrist to do sort of a 3 week checkup on my foot - x-rays, pushing here or there to incite pain, waiting in a series of subsequently smaller rooms, etc. The doctor was baffled by my fracture. How did it happen? I didn't know. Any changes in your footwear just prior to the incident? Not that I could think of. Hmmm. A mystery. No, not quite doc, I thought, knowing full well that my own foolish, unbridled tenacity for all things extreme - in this case excessive barefoot running - was the culprit. I was too embarrassed to admit it. Anyways, the outlook he gave me was good; over the next three weeks I can begin transitioning to shoes, the fracture is healing quite well. I plan to apologize for withholding damning evidence and tell all! to the doctor at our next visit in three weeks.

Yesterday afternoon, I threw down (and nearly threw up) on the bike. I cranked out a little over 27 miles in 1:05 at the upper levels of the exercise bikes limits (and mine). It was great. Sweated profusely, burned the caloric equivalent of a double whopper w/cheese and had fun. I did feel quite nauseous toward the end of the ride, but held it in, fought it off and succeeced in completing the ride, sans projectile expulsion. Yeehaw. Doubtless, I miss running, but these exercise bike rides have been enjoyable and provided great mind, body and soul work outs. What more can one ask for? It is time for work. Peace.

Running for good: Bryce Gaudian

Bryce Gaudian, age 51, resides on a 42-acre farm in south-central Minnesota (Hayward) with his wife, Cindy; they have four children. Raising organic beef and vegetables provides sustenance for short and long runs near the Iowa border through beautiful countryside. Bryce is a business-development manager at Agilis Company, which provides donation-processing services for nonprofit organizations. Bryce has been a running enthusiast for 35-plus years and has completed 10 marathons, with a personal best of 3:22:08. He has also run close to 50 other races, from 5K to half-marathons. He will be a member of the Twisted Blister team at the 2009 Hood-to-Coast Relay in Oregon in August (bio from Marathon and Beyond Magazine).

Bryce is an outstanding running and, most importantly, an incredible man. A part of nearly all of his running accolades is the idea of running for good. Bryce is an elite fundraiser for Operation Smile and a host of other great causes. Bryce brings meaning to his endurance endeavors through service to his fellow man. Running for good.

Guns don't kill people

Barefoot running doesn't cause injury; indiscriminate dispensation of time-tested, sage advice concerning mileage build-up causes injury.

Broken foot...was my 70 mile barefoot week the culprit? Of course. Does this incident debunk the barefoot running myth - the one that claims barefoot running is easier on your body? Nope. Not a chance. Just as guns don't kill people, barefoot running doesn't break feet. Hapless mileage build-up breaks feet. I went from zero barefoot miles a week to 70 in less than 4 weeks. Bad idea. I refuse to approach life cautiously - this gets me into trouble less often than you would think. More than that, I was so enjoying barefooting that I took every chance I had to get out and tear it up.

Now, I sit, in reality, in the reality of the consequences of fearlessness; of the indestructible complex. Limits, yeah, turns out that, in reality, we are all subject to a set of rules that govern how far we can go. Dispensing with conventional running wisdom from the outset, I have been creating my own terms of the game, erstwhile discovering, the hard way, my personal limits. My body is capable of running 204 miles a week - this I discovered last year. I am capable of maintaining 100+ mile weeks without a day off for over a year. I am capable of running a 6:22 50 miler. It is possible to run a half-marathon in the morning and a 50k in the afternoon - with a full day of work sandwiched in between. The point is, I was able to do those things, and we are all capable of much more than we know, but we cannot know our limits until we have crossed that threshold and suffered the consequences of going too far. Only in hindsight can we see where the edge of the realm of possibility lies - and by then, it is too late, the damage done.

I found my limit with barefooting; at least as far as haphazard mileage build-up goes. Now, I sit, defined by the reality of a fractured foot for the next several months. Rue the run? Nah. No regrets. I am not completely wreckless. We learn from our mistakes. Doubtless, my next training regime, upon full recovery, will be significantly more structured. Ah, the evolution of the runner. We are always learning and evolving based on those limits that we either seek to define or choose to destroy. For now, I take the conservative route. Rest, recovery and a careful build-up to next spring. Game on.

Time for a break

First off, I am broken - of course, in the moral sense, but wait... there is more. A couple of miles from the finish of my last run of the week - one of the quickest, lightest and most fun barefoot runs of my life (thus the "blaze of glory") - my left foot went "snap" and I went "grrr", holding back the expletives the best I could, somehow attempting to pretend that a new and awful pain had entered my life. My pace slowed, and slowed, and slowed, until I was reduced to a stutter-stepping walk, just outside my office. I sat down for a bit, took a deep breath and thought, "hey, this will pass, probably just a trivial twinge for the high barefoot mileage this week". But alas, it was not so. I had to suck it up and call for a ride home from work. I RICEd the goodness out of the foot all Friday evening. Saturday morning I woke, one-eye opened to the reality of the pain I was experiencing. All signs pointed to stress fracture - the only way to know for sure to get x-rays and a docs opinion. Sure enough, after a short trip to the hospital, I emerged from the sterile facility with a large ski-boot, a limp and a 4-6 week prescription for recovery.The metatarsal off my big tow is fractured lengthwise. Drat. So my fall running plans, of course, are out the window. No Le Grizz, Pony Express or birthday run. Instead? Reading, Seinfeld watching, core exercises, friends, new hobbies, family, etc. Not a bad exchange.

Back to last week in running, the stats:
- 120 miles
- 70 barefoot, 50 shod
- 5,000 vertical feet

I am optimistic about the prognosis and short-term future here. I haven't taken an honest to goodness break from training in nearly 4 years. My mind has been consumed by training. It is do or die now. If I do - think about running - I die. So a break. A mandatory break. It is nice to meet my body at a breaking point. I have been blessed over the years in training. I have had knee problems here and there, but nothing I couldn't run through.

Over the last 4 years I have put in nearly 18,000 miles of running without a major incident. In that, I had a 4 month cycle where I was running 100 or more miles a week at 6:15 pace or quicker. Over the last couple of years I have averaged close to 120 miles a week - significantly slower; my personal record during that span being 204 miles in 7 days. All sans injury. The boot is humbling. It has reminded me of my limits, my edges. Already I am noticing a change in my thinking. I am thinking more clearly, not worried, anxious or distracted by my training. This will be a great period for me to reassess my goals, values and priorities and put things in their place, once again. I will be back. Oh, I will be back to the ultra scene, but in a totally different way. In balance.

When health care reform fails

The reason health care reform continually comes to a head at the corner of Entrenched Conservative Ave. and Idealism Rd. is because the argument is so far from being held in the correct arena that any possibility of consensus is, well, pretty near impossible - as is evidenced by decades of struggle on both sides. Politicians, and, to be quite honest, the general public (by general public I mean everyone but me and whomever you are, reading this) have missed the point completely and total. The answer to our "health care crisis" is ultra running.

I could probably leave it at that, as the implications of ultra running in relation to health care are self-evident, but because I have some time and a strong coffee buzz I will explain. Ultra running and health care are inextricably linked, and as near as I can tell there are four reasons for this:

1) Running excessive distances pretty much well flushes the body of any troubles. The body goes into survival mode when pushed to its edge. Vital functions operate at their greatest, while lesser functions go into hibernation, sitting tight and hoping the extreme trauma will pass. I know this doesn't sound that appealing and even counterintuitive to my argument, but it is in this sustained survival mode that the bodies functions strengthen and achieve a level of durability that is more than capable of addressing the, by comparison, mundane negative health factors of day-to-day living.

2) Running excessive distances burns calories at an alarming rate. Of course, ultra runners often become non-purging bulimics or vice versa, or live a life so centered on burning calories that life loses its luster. Nonetheless, 140-200 miles a week of running will no doubt slim down those who are looking to trim up and make skeletons of those who are already quite trim (in Montana, this serves many side purposes; parka sales in the fall will increase as those with less than 3% body fat will be flocking to their nearest outdoor retailer, etc.).

3) Running excessive distances takes time. Why does this matter? More time running, less time for TV watching, smoking, boozing, family (this is not a good thing), friends (this also is not a good thing, oops), work (let me stop), etc. The point is, time takes on a different meaning for the ultra runner training 3-5 hours a day. No time for health care = savings.

4) Running excessive distances transfers business from hospitals to physical therapists (a boon to their business, for sure). Physical therapists typically give their patients exercises framed within a recovery plan for the pain-stricken individual to do independently, under the heading of freedom - as opposed to repeat 200-300 dollar hospital visits. Oh yeah, on this vein, we will also be working our way towards building a race of automatons - what, with all of the knee, hip, bone, cartilage and titanium replacements.

In closing, these aren’t quite the points I had envisioned when brainstorming the writing of this, but they are points, nonetheless. The points I was intending to make were significantly more compelling. Compelling to the point of forcing any reader of the plan to blow off whatever it was they had planned for the rest of their lives, go down to their local running store to stock up on four dozen pairs of shoes and begin running 20-30 miles a day. Unfortunately, the moment was lost. This was no classical argument – my ethos, pathos, logos and, even kairos, were weak if not non-existent. So be it. It is probably best that this sort of massive health care overhaul is left to those who want what is best for everyone but don’t know what it means to get there. Back to the drawing board for me.

Barefooting in Big Sky

Wow! What a blessing! I put in 7-8 miles of barefoot hill running on the roads of Big Sky this morning as the sun rose o'er the mountains. 3-4 miles this evening as the sun set on Lone Mountain. The best part? It was pain free and truly enjoyable. Wait. No. That was a great part, but the best part was that the day sandwiched between those two runs was substantive and meaningful. A couple of interesting experiences with some AmeriCorps VISTAs at our current training, one which found me playing the part of ambulance transporting an ailing VISTA to the local clinic, waiting for a couple hours while the IVs dripped. All is well. Getting better, she is. Great day with people and work. That is it for now.

The Point of no Return?

So I have hit a very unusual spot in my running pursuit. Clod hurts, barefoot doesn't. It is funny because it is so dang black and white. My runs hurt from start to finish and the pain lingers sometime after when I hoof it in shoes - my right knee twinges, my left calf cramps and my stride is short and weak. The moment I remove my shoes I run free. I am floating. I move painfree. The after effects? None to speak of. Of course, the pain after running in shoes is nothing new, it is what I how my body has been reacting to running over the last 1/2 a year, I have just steadily ignored it. I guess now, after tasting the forbidden fruit, the higher good of bare biped locomotion, I notice just how bad the pain from shoed running is in contrast.

Where do I go from here? I never intended to be a barefoot runner, just to supplement a bit of my regular training with some barefoot exercises. Now I can't go back, at least not now. I will continue to run barefoot and test out of my shoed running form as a mirror. Doubtless, it is not the shoes themselves, it is how I run when I am in them. My hope is that after a term of barefoot training my stride will take shape and become my the new form which I will then be able to translate to shoed running. Who knows. This is an odd place to be. For now? Dirty feet and perplexed looks.

Barefooting: A Loathing Love

Yesterday, I had two very different barefooting (five fingers) experiences. One of love, one on the edge of hate.

1) The experience of freedom and love that is so often heard when it comes to barefooting was fully realized yesterday morning during a 7 mile tempo run on grass. Wow. It was a thick, lush field of grass and after a couple of miles I was cruising - shirtless, tinsy shorts and barefoot, I felt like some sort of primordial tribesman chasing mega-fauna to the point of exhaustion (the animal). So, the barefoot experience was, in a word, glorious. It stole my heart.

2) So I had been meaning to take the five fingers and the barefooting experience into the mountains and since yesterday was my mountain run day - and riding high on the glorious barefoot experience in the morn - I went for it. I have a difficult time doing things conservatively and often times don't fully realize the undertakings I embark on, so smitten by out-of-body experiences as I am. The point is I chose a pretty formidable mountain run for my first five fingers mountain experience; my favorite 8.5-9 mile north face of Mt. Sentinel run.

From the first step on the Kim Williams trail to access the Mt. Sentinel trail I knew it was going to be a painful outing. My feet were, uncharacteristically, sensitive to the stony path. By the time I made it to the Sentinel trail my feet were screaming. I suppose I could have called it a run at that point, but I was pretty set on doing some steady ascending on Sentinel. It had been awhile. I was secretly wishing I had worn my shoes and plodded on, up the trail. I had to fastiduously powerwalk a few of the pure shale stretches of the opening section of the trail. My feet were screaming. I continued up the mountain and nearly had fun along the way. To the five fingers credit it was a light, fun and relatively quick ascent (that is, on the sections free of arrowheads sitting complacent and vertical - which was only 10%). I felt every rock on that mountain. I topped out effortlessly and with great fear of the forthcoming ascent.

The entire ride up, I scathingly leered at sections of the trail that would likely be, at best, tedious on the descent. The whole of thing, the descent, proved even more tenuous than I had anticipated. Every step down was an exercise in controlling my tongue and explicit verbage that echoed in thoughts. A great lesson in self control; for the woods are always listening and afford the greatest critique of a man's character. I tuned out for the 3 mile descent. Literally turned my mind off and slogged through the last portion of the trail. Wow. Check that, ouch. Now complete with aches and pains, it was back to the Kim Williams trail and back to the office. I had never been so pleased to run on pavement. No pebbles, rocks, talus or scree! Yeehaw. Never before had I so appreciated man's transporation amalgamate; cement.

All told, I am very happy to share this experience as it was humbling and eye-opening. I really ran well, albeit slow, considering the terrain. My form was incredible and, consequently, my recovery was instantaneous from the run. It was interesting to me, to have that intense, that focused and present, of an experience. Running barefoot on tenuous terrain requires every ounce of your attention and spirit. I was all there, and truthfully, enjoyed it. Though 95% of the run was honest-to-goodness pain, the moments and the result of a more humbled and well-rounded runner, now versed in the barefoot mountain experience, are priceless.

Thurs: the day before fri and the one after wed

Sat: 15 (mostly barefoot)
Sun: 18
Mon: 6 + 25 stationary bike + weight lifting
Tue: 5 barefoot + 11
Wed: 5 + 41.5 stationary bike + weight lifting
Thurs: 7 barefoot + TBD...

Still a bit unsettled with my training, even on a cut-back week. I haven't felt like I have been giving my work outs all that they deserve - which is actually exactly where I want to be, I suppose. In the past, I have hammered out work outs to exhaustion each and everyday and have paid dearly in injuries. For now, I am enjoying the laid-back nature of my training, the way it is meant to be enjoyed. Ultra training is a different beast, a much tamer beast, than marathon or shorter training. It requires a lot of patience, what with the slower /longer work outs and all. I am slowly but surely getting into the ultra training groove again and hope to be in a good place for the Pony Express 100 miler next month. Next weekend, I will head out for a couple of back-to-back long runs (finally time affords it). Have great days.

This week in training...

Yes, my funky, Saturday through Friday training week. It should noted that this is a cut-back, let the ol' body recover week. Here it is:

Sat: 15 miles (I don't remember how, but I remember that it was 15 - mostly barefoot)
Sun: 18 shoed miles (8 on honest to goodness terra firma, 10 on the treadmill)
Mon: 6 shoed miles + 25 mile cardio push on ye' ol' bicycle + weight lifting
Tue: 5 shoeless miles this morning + TBD shoed miles this afternoon

The rest of the week will see some mountain runs, some more stationary cycling - a new passion of mine -, certainly some more barefooting, etc.

This week in favorites:

Favorite album: I-Empire, Angels and Airwaves
Favorite cereal: Just Bunches (Both delicious and on sale)
Book of the week: Siddhartha
Beverage of the week: Italian Pinot Noir
Favorite work out: Long, slow treadmill run
Favorite shoes: Saucony Type A2
Favorite unshoes: Vibram Five Fingers Sprint

That is all. Back to work. Peace.

Giving ye' ol' legs a break

Easy ride this morning. 25 miles on the stationary bike in 1:05. Levels 13-15 are great cardio, longish-ride settings for me. 13 offers a nice balance of resistance and affirmation (affirmation that the level is easy enough to maintain for an hour plus, while keeping my heart on the lower limits of the cardio zone). This morning's ride was extremely enjoyable.

Level: 13
RPMs: 105-108
HR: 145-155
Calories: 872

I used to have a difficult time keeping myself on any piece of exercise equipment for more than 45 minutes. For whatever reason, over the last couple of years, I have become enthralled with the little stats the machines provide (likely because I rarely utilize fitness facilities - the great outdoors typically beckons). I can stare at the digital display of a stationary bike for hours without losing interest - the same goes for the treadmill... I love watching the seconds blip up, one-by-one. Yesterday, I forgot to stop running after achieving my hilly treadmill work out goal and ended up going 3 miles further (metaphorically, of course, one goes no where on the TM) than planned. Too, the heart rate monitors are always a treat on those machines. It is nice to lock into work outs that are a literal reflection of the heart and its capabilities. Too often my metaphorical heart rejects exercise and acts on the whim of a fleeting moment of discontent with the process. At least with a heart rate monitor, I know, that I am operating comfortably within my limits. Game on. Peace.

Week Recap+Five Fingers, Yeehaw

SA: 21 miles (3 easy AM, 12 mile hike, 6 mile speed work out)
SU: 18 miles (6 easy AM, 12 easy trail w/some vertical PM)
M: 35 mile cardio push on stationary bike+6 miles easy on the feet+weight lifting
T: 21 (11.5 easy AM, 9.5 easy PM)
W: 15 (5.5 commute, 8 speed work+1.5 barefoot on grass/cement)
TH: 26 mile cardio push on stationary/3 easy AM+9 easy PM+1.5 barefoot pavement running
F: 19 miles (2.5 easy AM+16.5 barefoot PM)

51 miles stationary bike
113.5 miles foot travel
19.5 barefoot miles

Great week of training. This week marks the completion of a paradigm shift in running form and philosophy. My first week of barefooting proved revolutionary in my thoughts and feelings towards running as of late. Since mid-Spring I have been, at most, half-pleased with my training and shape. It has been a constant battle with my knees and their response to various shoes and, ultimately, my running form has suffered tremendously - for a spring of 130+ mile weeks I sure was sloppy. With each passing day I became more uncertain and insecure about my training; am I injured? should I take the day off? can I run the work out today, or shall it be another easy day? etc.? No consistency, always fretting and worrying about the condition of my fragile legs. Something had to change.

With the encouragement of my friends Matt and Josh I took off my shoes and ran barefoot. Wow. My world was turned upside down and backwards. Or, more accurately, it was turned rightside up and front forward. My stride corrected itself in real time based on conversations going on between the ground and my feetsies. Makes perfect sense, but it is a total paradigm shift from the greatest of shoe evolution thought that we were all reared in. Tickled pink with barefooting I was still unsure of the practicality of the sport given the surfaces I typically run on. I needed just a bit of protection underfoot for the gravel and trails that I run on; not padding or support, just a thin layer of protection. With a positive review and final note of encouragement from Matt on the Vibram Five Fingers I hurried to the nearest store (literally dropped everything that I was doing, I was smitten) and picked up a pair of Five Finger sprints.

I proceeded to run the rest of the afternoon (a little over 16 miles, probably a bit much for my first go) like a child - carefree and giddy. I ran around Missoula looking for fun and interesting surfaces to run on; gravel, pavement, cement, thick grass, thin grass, single-track trails, polished scree, pine-needle padded forest trails, large rocks and carpet. I wanted to experience it all. Feel the ground under my feet. Feel period. It was glorious.

My legs and feet are a bit sore this morning - in new and interesting places. But it is a good kind of sore. A kind of sore I haven't felt for awhile. The soreness that comes from a day of good training, not soreness or, more accurate pain, from impending injuries. Suddenly, I am rejuvenated, reawakened, restored on running. My running life had been pretty dry for awhile, but no longer. Things are turning around and in a big way. I am excited to see where the Five Fingers take me, where barefooting takes me. For now, it will likely remain a supplement to training; an arena to hone in and correct the pecularities of my "shoed" stride. Perhaps, it will become the only sort of running I do. Who knows. Doesn't matter. For now? I relish in the revelation. Peace.

thursday update w/barefoot

SA: 21 miles (3 easy AM, 12 mile hike, 6 mile speed work out)
SU: 18 miles (6 easy AM, 12 easy trail w/some vertical PM)
M: 35 mile cardio push on stationary bike+6 miles easy on the feet+weight lifting
T: 21 (11.5 easy AM, 9.5 easy PM)
W: 15 (5.5 commute, 8 speed work+1.5 barefoot on grass/cement)
TH: 26 mile cardio push on stationary/3 easy AM+9 easy PM+1.5 barefoot pavement running

Primordial. In a word. That is the word to describe my initial experience with barefoot running. After many months (and years really) of recurring knee issues, I finally took the advice of my barefoot friends and tried a few miles out on grass/pavement this week. Bloody 'ell, it was brilliant.

Because the foot has so many nerve endings it senses/feels every bit of goodness it strikes, with that information, the feet signal the brain to make appropriate stride and striking adjustments to run naturally. The result? Significantly less impact on the knees and a smoother/more graceful stride to boot. Wonderful. Shoes are a barrier in this way, removing the necessary contact between nerves and ground and replacing the relationship with a synthetic, contrived, unnatural response system. In theory, this all makes sense, and now I am finding out, that, in practice, the art of barefoot running is revolutionary - which is ironic, as it is nothing new.

I don't have any intentions (at this point) of becoming a full-time barefooter, but I do see the value in it, not to mention the joy, in retraining the legs how to run more naturally. Save the knees, run barefoot. So, a supplement to weekly runs. That is all for now. Have great days.

Mid-week Training Update

Everything is firing properly. Laid-back week this week as I adjust to my new hybrid training regimen. This week marks the total shift of training philosophies - from ultra-high mileage running to cross-training and high mileage running. Less talk. Here is what it looks like:

SA: 21 miles (3 easy AM, 12 mile hike, 6 mile speed work out)
SU: 18 miles (6 easy AM, 12 easy trail w/some vertical PM)
M: 35 miles cardio push on the stationary bike+6 miles easy on the feet+weight lifting
T: 11.5 easy AM, 7.5-10.5 easy PM

That is it for now. The biking has been a welcome change in my training. I would say the ratio (in regards to effort) of biking miles:running miles is 3:1 - 3 miles hard biking = 1 mile easy running. The difference? My knees are saved.

Also, I have been seriously reevaluating my running technique. I am working on a more natural, soft, feel the ground sort of stride and gait. Essentially, trying to simulate barefoot running. No more pavement running for awhile either. I only powerwalk roads. Treadmill and trails are the only surfaces I plan on running for awhile as I refine my soft step technique. Happy trails.

No One Trick Ponies Here

A couple of weeks ago I begin using an ball chair. For those of you who may not know what that it is (I was clueless up to a month ago), the concept is simple... an excercise ball (52cm) is placed on a rolling base and given a small lumbar support. Below is a photo of this interesting concept (mine is yellow too).The chair promotes correct posture and forces you to engage your abdominal muscles while at your desk. The chair is actually quite comfortable - I have come to really love the thing. The best part? You can yank out the ball and do some ball crunches whenever the mood strikes you. It did me, just a moment ago. No one trick ponies in this office. Work your core while working to the core.

Huckleberry-Humble Pie

This post goes out to all those folks making great strides towards, what has become, perennial, expected success.

This week in running I was served a healthy portion of huckleberry-humble pie. For those of you expecting a recap of an epic 160+ mile week in the mountains, I apologize. As much as a dog is doggy, I am humany, replete with physical, psychological and sociological limitations. Inspiration and character are longitudinal virtues. A look at my life, from birth until now, will hopefully yield a strong sense of fortuitousness, strength of character and inspiration through focused and channeled passion.

Before I get to heady... I am tentatively injured; the pain in my right knee, a source of a lifetime of frustration, can no longer be ignored. I am easing off of my training regime sooner than usual; things are not out of hand, the situation is still tenable. Doubtless, a few more weeks at 130+ miles would render that joint ineffectual. Time to pull back the reins. Of course, this is never easy. I love running. I love training. I love running and training at high levels (lots of miles), but alas, often what we need is what we least want or would ever choose for ourselves. Changes are to be made and opportunities are to be seized with this change in regime. What I will have more of... time, energy for daily activities, external focus, love, compassion and passion. There will be less brooding over possible impending injuries from lingering pains. In short, freedom.

Intense, competitive and fast 50 mile training is probably out of the question for this fall. Any training that I do will be geared towards slow, long ultras (100k or 100 miler). Speed work, during this training cycle, has not only become painful and downright pathetic, it is of no real interest at this point and affords nothing close to enjoyment. Slow, trail-running is where I will be while nursing this knee. Too, woods running is infinitely more appealing to me right now. Enjoying running for what it is, in balance with the rest of the whole (life). Next spring, after a restful winter, I hope to return to competitive ultra-running. For now? I intend to turn all of my surplus energy saved from not training as hard towards friends, family, work and new pursuits.

Run for the love of that impetus that finds you out on your feet - health, weight loss, enjoyment, freedom, worship, suffering, competition, etc. Run for joy; because you are able, and that is a blessing. Never forget to give thanks to the Creator of the universe for your bipedal mobility. Live in that moment - running, living, socializing, whatever it may be. Be all there. The sky is the limit and everything in that space between heaven and earth is within the realm of possibility. Do it. Live for what is meaningful, no what is extreme. Often meaningful pursuits are extreme. Just as often extreme measures are patently absurd. If your pursuit finds you at an extreme, respect it, tarry not, and use it as a launch pad to new and wonderful things. Be unprecedented - for the sake of God, human achievement and not personal advancement (insofar as it truncates personal growth). The former brings glory to God and all, the latter... anger, frustration, and eventually devastation. Learn humility, have a bite, a nibble a taste of your huckleberry-humble pie before you are forced to devour the whole. Practice it. Wait not for the walls of your world to crumble. Rather, build paths, outward and yon, connecting to those people and places that bring life to living - and likewise in reverse. Live for empowerment.

All this to say, I was building a small temple; it has been obliterated. Hello world, hello life. Let anticipation of the unexpected be your modus operandi. Peace.

Missoula or Seattle?

Incredible running weekend. 17 miles on Saturday, 19 on Sunday. Today is the first day since I have been back that it hasn't rained. The woods are fresh, green, full of life and moisture. My somewhat wet 13 miler in the Rattlesnake yesterday was glorious. The woods felt tropical and refreshing. Saturday, I had a really clean quick ascent/descent of Mt. Sentinel w/some flat-running Missoula proper running sprinkled in there. Lately, I have been letting it all go on the trails, just running by spirit, not by force driven by unbridled emotions. This weekend was clean in that way. Just good, clean and pure running.

The sky is blue today. I may head up the Rattlesnake again today after work for a rain-free, worry-free jaunt of Stuart Peak. Who knows.

A major change happened in my life yesterday that has left me feeling joyful. More on that to come. Upward steps are being taken towards a more positive life and self-image. It is all very empowering, hopefully I can maintain my composure through it all and let those blessings that grace my life be buoys of joy.

Hmmm, I guess that is all. I wish I were a better writer and had the energy and passion to write interesting, inspiring pieces. For now, we will go with the numbers... 40 biped miles since Saturday. Peace.

Week Recap (8/8-8/14): Intentional Suffering

This week my training focus was on suffering. I had the unexpected pleasure of traveling to Atlanta, GA for the week (a work-related training). Of course, training in GA during a pretty workshop-intensive VISTA training (which was solid - incredible people and helpful information) afforded a wonderful opportunity to get up really early to slip in some miles, experience perspiration at new and unprecedented levels, feel tired - slog through that -, and eat prodigous amounts of hotel food. 

111 miles this week. 

SA: 24

SU: 16

M: 17

T: 14

W: 14

TH: 16

F: 10

Thursday I went out into wild Georgia during the heat of the day on a 12 mile road/trail run. It was sick. I threw down on the trails - was tired, sweated much and enjoyed myself. Admittedly, I don't really enjoy suffering, but it is a part of my training that I am working at being more intentional about including from time to time; to help me know better what it means to push my personal limits and then appreciate what it is to feel great, happy and comfortable. It is pushing our level of comfort in anything that creates space to grow.

Nothing too exciting about my runs this week. Easy week. No speed work. A lot of 7-10 milers on a treadmill in a sauna (the work out room was pretty hot and extremely humid). I was left with soaked shoes and shorts after every treadmill run. I mean soaked; as if I had jumped into a body of water and just stepped out. That sort of soaked. It was unreal. I loved it.

Nice to be back in Missoula though. Dry, cool, mountainous and quiet. It feels like home. I am looking very forward to getting out on a long, easy trail run this afternoon. Yeehaw. Home again. 

This week in running...

Firstly, I should note that my new running week is Saturday to Friday. This makes more sense to me - what, with a front-loaded long-running weekend, followed by a peak on Wednesday/Thursday, then a lower mileage (higher intensity) Friday. A great week this week. My fitness is getting there. My worry, something that occurred to me this week, is that my fitness might be too good at this early stage in training. So, next week, mostly by necessity, I will be cutting back a bit, keeping both the intensity and mileage low. Then, I will begin ramping it up at a tenable rate through September. 

This week in running:

Sat: 33 (31 race+2 easy)

Sun: 19 (15 steady+4 easy)

Mon: 13 (6 commute+7 easy)

Tues: 18 (6 commute+12 mountain push)

Wed: 15 (8 commute+7 steady, flat push)

Thurs: 22 (7 easy+15 speed ascent, flat running)

Fri: 15 (5 commute+10 flat, tempo*)

Week Mileage: 135 miles

Week Vert: about 14,000 feet

Everything - my legs and upper-body - is functioning well and firing properly. The variety of running that I am doing in Missoula doubtless plays a major role in that. Lots of varied-pace trail running, easy runs, etc.

Life is good. Social life is good. Work is pretty alright. Yeah. Peace.

Thursday Follies

Typically, I would save a "follies" blog for a Friday - a matter of semantics. But yesterday. Yesterday was a day of follies. And by follies I mean shenanigans. That helps little... shenanigans? read "epic running" and good times. So yesterday was an Epic Running and Good Times Thursday. Bullet points:

- Correction. Dashes.

- Morning run: out the door on a really slow and flat (and wet) 7-8 miler at 5:15AM. This run proved to be a great recovery run from the previous day's work out.

- Afternoon: went out for my big work out of the day. A steady lung-busting push up Sentinel's lesser travelled and longer north trail. My stomach was not in a good place going into the run, but after a couple of miles of running it out before hitting the ascent it had settled and was ready for the push I so needed. I put in the 3 miles and 2000 vertical in something less than 30 minutes (most likely, my internal clock has gotten pretty accurate with these predictions). I cruised up. There were portions where I was hitting 8:30-9:00 pace. I took a nice and easy descent to save my knees (as tempting as it was to make it a 45 minute round-trip). Ran back to school, then took the long way home on my feetsies.

- Great time at Downtown Tonight with Anna-Margaret, Jordan and Christine. We sat on the hill behind the food vendors and sipped and beers and chatted about this, that and the other.

Yesterday's Stats
- 22 miles
- 2600 vertical
- 2 great conversations
- 1 great beer
- 1 giant box of life cereal

Today will be a nice and easy 15-20 mile day (15 if the weather acts up, 20 if things clear up). Tomorrow will be a single run day - one big ol', mountainous long-run. Can't wait. Tonight? Free wine and hors d’oeurves, conversation and art viewing. Game on. Peace. Happy Friday to all. God bless.

Return to the Blogosphere

Hiatus? Yes. I have been busy. Negatory. I have not made adequate time for writing. It is my shame to bear. But I am back.

I returned to running on the second to last day of June, after a month completely off. I walked 7-10 miles a day and continued core, lower body and upper body strengthening circuits during the break. I put in 300 miles in July - a low and honest number, which I am proud of, considering the self-control it took to not run more. I paced the 3:40 women's Boston qualifier race at the Missoula Marathon after 10 days of training. I ended up taking them in at the 3:36 mark. Oops. I made the run into a 50k (31 miles) to make for a nice training day. Had a great time doing that. With that run, my Fall 2009 ultra training began in earnest.

I then put in several 80-90+ mile weeks leading up to the Elkhorn 50 miler on August 1st. Supposedly, one of the most difficult 50 mile courses in the west. Hard, but necessary lessons learned at that race. Long story short, I dropped out at mile 25 after admitting defeat to the leader who had 5 minutes on me. Probably a silly move (we had 5-6 miles on the pack). Made the run into a 50k at a blazing pace that would have been good for the course record.

Currently, I am coming to the end of my first 130+ mile week since May (a wet 7 miler this mornign). I am feeling great. I am braceless and happy. I have slowed down my training considerably. I would say that 75% of my running is at 8:30 pace or slower. It has made all the difference in the world. I put in 1-2 "speed" work outs a week. But, for the most part, it is all beautiful mountain running. I put in a few of those flat speed work outs a week, but beyond that it is all about the vertical running. I have been averaging about 2,000 vert feet a day. My climbing is getting gnarly-sick. Fast and smooth and my only limit has been the height of the peaks in the immediate area - this has meant several peaks a day on occasion. My downhill is getting better. I have been taking it easy on the gravity-assisted running to save my knees.

Next week, I am heading to Atlanta for job-related training and will take that opportunity to have a cut-back week - let the ol' body rest a bit. Then, next weekend, it is on... A couple of big long runs, followed by a some big and beautiful running weeks. My preparations are for the Le Grizz 50 miler, where I would like to go sub-6 hours this year. Lord-willing.

Alright, back to the blog, now back to work. Daily reporting on training begins! Yeehaw!

Back in the Game

Running is not a game, but I am back to the movement after a 6 week hiatus (2 hours of walking and .5-1 hour of core/aerobic circuit strength training exercises in its void).

Yeehaw. I am stoked to be running again. It is a different experience than when I last left it, and that is a good thing. I feel like I have gained respect and appreciation on an even more acute level since I have been away.

Slowly, but surely, I am getting back on the running wagon. I put in close to 75 miles last week. Admittedly, this was probably too much in mind, but in reality it proved just fine. My body feels pretty solid. Of course, 65-70 of those miles were pretty pokey, 8 minute pace or slower, but that point is, I loved every minute of it.

This is the battle I am forever engaged in, moderating the love for a passion. The runner's dilemma. Too much will render one hurt, injured and unable to run, thus eliminating the chances of running fluidly, safely and, of course, enjoyably at high mileage (or, I should say, enjoying running high mileage) and too little, well, that is nothing to speak to as it is impossible for me to fathom running too little on account of not wanting to (not injury).

So here is what has transpired since I began running last week.

Sunday: 7-10 miles walking/running
Monday: 8 miles (bank run)
Tuesday: 8-10 miles (library/grocery run)
Wednesday: 12-14 miles (w/a nice steady climb to the summit cone of Mt. Sentinel)
Thursday: 10-11 miles (neighborhood exploration and double traverse of Mt. Jumbo)
Friday: 6-7 miles of interval work, lunges, strides (followed by a great stretch sesh)
Saturday: 9-10 miles around Lake Como and campground (amazing, amazing, and amazing)

My legs feel 80% overall at this point of fitness. Not bad. This week, I am taking it easy - basically keeping it at 5-7 miles a day of running/walking commutes. Saving myself for this weekend. I will probably squeeze in a day of rest too, while I am at. C'est la vie.
Missoula is a great running town for many reasons (justification to be enumerated in posts forthcoming). Off to work. Peace.

Atheism Doesn’t, Agnosticism Won’t

I am human, so are you – with, of course, the exception of Coco the monkey who may or may not be able to read this. One-hundred and twenty percent of us believe in a Higher Power. That’s right. God. You scoff, scorn and rebuke? Hold a moment.

Firstly, you point out that one-hundred and twenty percent is twenty percent above the whole of humankind. Right-o. True enough. My conjecture comes from the presupposition that twenty percent of the currently living population is deceased. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that all of humanity, past and present, believes(ed) in God. Settled.

Secondly, the crux, the real stumbling block for you – particularly if you suppose yourself atheist or agnostic – is the inflammatory, egregious claim that All believe(d) in God. Fair enough. Let me explain…

Truthfully, I had a concrete line of reasoning that may have been able to explain away atheism and agnosticism as mere epidermal hodge-podge. It was all so clear on a ponderous saunter I had a few hours ago. I guess I waited too long to put down my thoughts. Crap. I suppose it is for the best. This is not a theology blog and I am a rambling buffoon. Back to the basics; what I had for breakfast, weekly running mileage, injury reports, race reports, the occasional anecdote from work, etc. 

I put in close to 60 walking miles this week. It has been feeling pretty good. Great actually. My stride is long and strong. I am in the process of rebuilding my legs. They had whittled down to little more than bone and tendon over the last 16 months of 16+ miles a day. I spend a fair amount of time squatting and lunging, which reads kind of funny. Also, I have been doing a lot of stretching exercises/basic yoga poses, planks, ball crunches, upper-body work with elastic bands and reading. The reading has nothing to do with that set, but I do consider it a part of my nightly work out period, from 4-7. Last week I read “B is for Beer”, “Alone on the Summit” (Everest Kangshung Face 1988), “The Unclimbed Ridge” (Bonington’s Everest foray on the Northest Ridge) and something else. This week, I finished Kurt Vonnegut’s posthumous “Armageddon in Retrospect” and have gotten about halfway through David Breashear’s climbing memoir “High Exposure”. Back to training. I am going to continue these walks, building up my mileage on the weekends and dropping on the weekdays, until July, when I will begin sprinkling jogs into my training. This is all tenative, of course, dependent upon what my legs have to say about each step of the training journey. Alright. Until next time. Peace.

Kurt Vonnegut, Mount Everest and Seinfeld

Over the last several weeks Kurt Vonnegut and Seinfeld have provided my nightly entertainment. An addition, Everest reads have been a staple of my June of 2009. June 2009 reading:

The Unclimbed Ridge, by Chris Bonington
Alone on the Summit, by Stephen Venables
The Other Side of Everest, by Matt Dickinson
High Exposure, by David Breashears
Denali Disasters (a collected work)
B is for Beer
Armageddon in Retrospect, a collection of essays by Kurt Vonnegut
1 and 2 Timothy out of the Bible

Books you should read!

Armageddon in Retrospect
1 and 2 Timothy
The Other Side of Everest

Seinfeld? Watch it.

Hmmm, that is all the time I have, the Library is closing. Peace.

On Throwing Reluctant Children into Pools

Bad news. I saw it happen yesterday. It happened on my LEAP watch, embarrassingly enough. But things aren't always as they seem. Seeing my co-worker gently set a very defiant, fully-clothed five year-old into the swimming pool yesterday was horrifying. After having dedicated hours to coaxing this young one to the edge of his greatest fear, it was a blow to my efforts and, what I initially perceived to be, the terminus of that child's swimming career. Again, things are not always what they seem. After a chat with my co-worker about her actions, the reality of the drastic measure became clear - the boy, who had been to swimming lessons days prior, had been fired up about the lesson that morning, but upon seeing the edge of the water and realizing the enormity of the commitment that he had made, he freaked. My co-worker, having worked with young kids and with children's psychology for decades knew what she was doing. Whether or not throwing the fully clothed kid in the pool was right, it is impossible to say. Doubtless, my heart is much too soft to carry out such a harsh course of action; my persuasion/effectiveness with young ones comes through soft-spoken, sincere dialogue, not force. Well, it all turned out wonderful of course. The young lad, once in the water, enjoyed his lesson (and the water) thoroughly and today, made great progress on his way to becoming a swimmer. One thing is for sure, this pre-K kid prefers the easy way (me), to the hard way (my co-worker). It takes very little convincing on my part (now) to get him through the locker room and to the pool; a couple of soft words and a smile and he is poolside, at attention.

The moral? Don't throw kids into pools unless you have a kind-hearted cohort to whom you can thence refer the child to for soft-spoken persuasion. Otherwise? The child lives in fear of over 2/3s of the Earth's surface, forever.

Paincheck to Paincheck

A life lived from paincheck to paincheck is hardly a life lived. Paycheck to paycheck is, perhaps, more palatable - not to mention fundamentally different in nature. Pain alerts us of bodily misgivings and . Paychecks are simply a means to an end. Paychecks provide with the means to acquire our basic needs and elastic wants. Painchecks are the points in our personal timelines that cause, nay force, us to take look inside ourselves, usually causing us to cringe at what we find - physical, emotional, psychological, familial, and often irreversible pain. Scream if you'd like. Sometimes we must. More often we do nothing. No. Something is not nothing. We actually do something, all of us. How we respond to pain speaks volumes of our character - no two people react the same. That something, our response, may be subtle - a stoic, complacent, placid look - but that facade does little in the way of addressing the pain. Living paincheck to paincheck is no way to live at all. Truth; pain comes. Truth; pain goes. 

We must choose one of two paths; live from paincheck to paincheck, always in the state of hyper-awareness, thinking only of an imminent, but not yet realized pain, or we can live from... wait, let's simplify this. The ol' peaks and valleys metaphor seems well suited for this analogy. Let painchecks be the valleys and pain-free/freedom living be the peaks. Back to our choice of paths. We must choose between living peak to peak or valley to valley. Hope lies in the former and despair clings to the latter. Hope sees us through our point of pain recognition, healing and recovery - hope ultimately will lead us up the path to Xanadu, atop mountains that so grandly afford us incomprehensible vistas. No more talk of the other option. It is no longer an option. Hope for the future breeds peace in the present. Choose hope, live peacefully from peak to peak. Smell the alpine flowers en route to bliss, but tarry little - lest the developing weather in the valley consume you. Move expeditiously and summit fearlessly. God bless your journey from peak to peak. 

On Great Everest Reads

Alright, so lately, I have been devouring Himalayan expedition literature. Years ago my initial interest in Himalayan expeditions was specifically on the 1960-1980s pushes on the taller 8000 meter peaks - K2 and Everest specifically - with a side of Nanga Parbat. These expeditions are fascinating as they pushed the human psychological and physiological limits. By the 1960s all of the tallest 8000 meter peaks had been climbed by "siege" style expeditions. The goal was simple, get to the top at any cost. This meant expeditions of 50 plus climbers and 100s of support members, extensive death tolls, prodigious amounts of supplies and consequently waste, and, on occasion, local porter teams numbering 1000 or more. Nuts. After the peaks had been climbed the philosophy of the mountain reverted to that of the pervasive minimalist, alpine approach being used in the Alps. Small teams, little support, no fixed ropes, quick ascents, and no supplemental oxygen were the staples of the small alpine expedition. The question was, could such a small, unsupported team conquer a Himalayan giant. The pervasive thought in the older military siege-style rings was of course "no". But small groups of motivated, counter-cultural climbers set out to prove otherwise. Thus began the scramble in the 1960s-1980s to hit hard routes on massive Himalayan peaks with small, unsupported teams. Everest wasn't climbed without supplementary oxygen until 1978, and was not soloed until 1980 - both accomplishments attributed to Reinhold Messner. The Germans continued their assault on Nanga Parbat through the 60s, the Italians played around on their Abruzzi ridge from 1954 (after the first successful siege) through the 60s and the Americans and British pioneered routes on Everest through the 70s. Horbein and Unsoeld completed the first traverse of Everest in 1963. Venables and Buhl made names for themselves on the formidable East face of Everest in the 1980s. 

Back to the point; great Everest reads. Lately, I have been reading early expedition literature (1920s-1950s) and gaining a better understanding of the logistical challenges of the early expeditions and why it took so darn toot'n long - with so many deaths - to initially reach the summits of the Himalayan giants. A great succinct, yet thorough recap of Himalayan expeditions, Fallen Giants. A great introduction to the wonderful world of Himalayan adventures - reconnoiters, mapping, trekking and mountaineering. Also, anything Shipton or Hunt will do a student of early Himalayan expeditions good. Two Britons who had more of a knack for writing than climbing write thorough accounts of the early days of the British on Everest (Hunt was the expedition leader for the 1953 Norgay/Hillary ascent). A much more contemporary expedition account that is worth looking into is The Other Side of Everest by Matt Dickinson. Matt was on the north side of Everest during the killer storm of 1996 that took 10 lives. Matt provides an easy to understand account, jargon-free, of the immense undertaking of a Himalayan expedition. Perhaps more interesting, for those who are familiar with the laundry-list of literature available from 1996 expeditions on the south side of Everest (Into Thin Air, Boukreev's account, Viestur's writings, etc.), is the other side of the story provided by Dickinson. 

Great Reads. Check them out.

Choices

Well, it seems that things have hit a head with my right knee. After several weeks of consistent strengthening exercises and a three week running break, nothing has changed. I went out for a jog today to see how everything was firing; my right knee has the same strange alignment problem and grinds out to the right, stiffening on occasion, and eventually hardening to a point that I am forced to walk. Shoot. Whatever though. Stuff happens. I still love running and am very saddened by the current state of affairs. The choice comes down to this...seek medical/physical therapy treatment now and risk the chance of not having enough cash for my move to Missoula (first/last month's rent and security deposit) or use my current funds to foot the move and forgo treatment until I am financially sound again, say late fall (meaning no running or fall races this year). It really isn't a choice. The answer is obvious. A place to live is necessary, running is not. Who knows how much the bill will just for a diagnosis. Which probably sounds silly to most folks. But, truth be told, I am poor and even a screening could put me on the brink of financial ruin, what with my move to Missoula and all. Anyways, no regrets here. This is the way it is. I am still a young buck, plenty of years to get my leg fixed and get back to one of things I love. For now? Long walks and strength training cardio circuits.

Entertaining Angels

"A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us." Emerson

This post has been a five year work-in-progress. These events have shaped my life in ways that I will never know. A recent meeting piqued my interest and inspired this post.I have been blessed to have met four angels over the course of the last five years.

By angels, I mean kindred, quiet, transcendent spirits that put my heart, soul, mind at ease while in their presence. The moment is all that matters in the presence of an angel; and the moments are eternal. Hindsight and reflection on my meetings with these angels only dims the glory of their luminous realities - experienced in the moment, in the present. Words can not and will not, not ever, do these meetings with eart-angels proper justice. So I am stuck trying my best to describe to you what has likely been a shared experience by all; an experience full of love, truth and hope. It is a plutonic love. Nay, it is beyond any love that can be described. It is transcendent. Assuredly, from above. No human love could match it. The love that ties us to the angels in our lives can never be lustful or suffocating; the love is a supernatural virtue of which sexuality taints the very object of beauty. It is true love. It is God's face on God's child. That is what it means to look upon the face of an angel. To see virtue as virtue, and love as natural ore.

I feel the need to share the names of those angels that have graced me with their presence to better illustrate what I am talking about when I talk about angels. Ordered in chronological order of meeting (not importance, for all meetings are of equal importance) over the last five years.

- Mandy Moore - Though this may seem funny, ridiculous, whatever, Mandy Moore was my first experience with this sort of love and feeling of the presence of something so wonderful and beautiful that no amount of human longing could match the love made manifest in her beauty. Watching Mandy Moore in a 'Walk to Remember' caused a heart palpitation of which I had never experienced before, making me aware of a different sort of terrestial spirit.

- Merne Judson III - Merne showed me, simply by being, what peace, selflessness and love are. What love is. It is palpable in his presence. Everything was illuminated in a heavenly light when we engaged in conversation and divine wisdom flowed freely between us in a beautiful exchange of spirit. Merne gave a face to my newly evolving concept of what an angel is. His spirit is still present in my life, though he is now over a 1000 miles away.

- Gwen - Gwen gave a face, voice and of course, spirit to what an angel is. With the voice of an angel and the beauty of aphrodite, Gwen put and too, continues to put, a hope, faith and love into perspective under the terribly insufficient asupices of earthly beauty. Transcendence is the key here. A heart turned outward, serving others selflessly, without restraint. Gwen taught me what beauty sounds like and unconditional love for all feels like.

- Laura - Laura has come into my life most recently, within the last year. She is perhaps the quietest, most peaceful spirit that I have ever met. With a heart for service and conscience so keen as to detect even the slightest injustice in thought and spirit, she radiates love. Her life gave me a picture of what a life lived in harmony with God and God's creation looks like. Frickin a, it is a beautiful thing; just to know that such a kindred spirit exists gives me strength, power and hope - perhaps a selfish ambition, the love is pure and inspires me to serve the world joyfully.

All four of these people, perhaps with the exception of Mandy Moore who merely gave me the base image of an angel, have taught me lessons so invaluable and transcendent, that if my spirit were to be boiled down to its base elements, inevitably the residue of Merne, Gwen and Laura would remain after my spirit had evaporated. Kindreds spirits only come, they do not go. Spirits are eternal and we know when we meet them. It isn't the feeling of a higher degree of joy that so enraptures us, but a completely different kind of joy that captures us when blessed with their presence. I hope you too have experienced angels on earth; seen the face of God in a friend or loved one. These things are beautiful and God blesses us so, so that by reflecting even half of the light of our angels into the lives of those that we interact with, we bless the world.

Entertaining Angels

"A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us." Emerson

This post has been a five year work-in-progress. These events have shaped my life in ways that I will never know. A recent meeting piqued my interest and inspired this post.

I have been blessed to have met four angels over the course of the last fiveyears. By angels, I mean kindred, quiet, transcendent spirits that put my heart, soul, mind at ease while in their presence. The moment is all that matters in the presence of an angel; and the moments are eternal. Hindsight and reflection on my meetings with these angels only dims the glory of their luminous realities - experienced in the moment, in the present. Words can not and will not, not ever, do these meetings with eart-angels proper justice. So I am stuck trying my best to describe to you what has likely been a shared experience by all; an experience full of love, truth and hope. It is a plutonic love. Nay, it is beyond any love that can be described. It is transcendent. Assuredly, from above. No human love could match it. The love that ties us to the angels in our lives can never be lustful or suffocating; the love is a supernatural virtue of which sexuality taints the very object of beauty. It is true love. It is God's face on God's child. That is what it means to look upon the face of an angel. To see virtue as virtue, and love as natural ore.

I feel the need to share the names of those angels that have graced me with their presence to better illustrate what I am talking about when I talk about angels. Ordered in chronological order of meeting (not importance, for all meetings are of equal importance) over the last five years.

- Mandy Moore - Though this may seem funny, ridiculous, whatever, Mandy Moore was my first experience with this sort of love and feeling of the presence of something so wonderful and beautiful that no amount of human longing could match the love made manifest in her beauty. Watching Mandy Moore in a 'Walk to Remember' caused a heart palpitation of which I had never experienced before, making me aware of a different sort of terrestial spirit.

- Merne Judson III - Merne showed me, simply by being, what peace, selflessness and love are. What love is. It is palpable in his presence. Everything was illuminated in a heavenly light when we engaged in conversation and divine wisdom flowed freely between us in a beautiful exchange of spirit. Merne gave a face to my newly evolving concept of what an angel is. His spirit is still present in my life, though he is now over a 1000 miles away.

- Gwen - Gwen gave a face, voice and of course, spirit to what an angel is. With the voice of an angel and the beauty of aphrodite, Gwen put and too, continues to put, a hope, faith and love into perspective under the terribly insufficient asupices of earthly beauty. Transcendence is the key here. A heart turned outward, serving others selflessly, without restraint. Gwen taught me what beauty sounds like and unconditional love for all feels like.

- Laura - Laura has come into my life most recently, within the last year. She is perhaps the quietest, most peaceful spirit that I have ever met. With a heart for service and conscience so keen as to detect even the slightest injustice in thought and spirit, she radiates love. Her life gave me a picture of what a life lived in harmony with God and God's creation looks like. Frickin a, it is a beautiful thing; just to know that such a kindred spirit exists gives me strength, power and hope - perhaps a selfish ambition, the love is pure and inspires me to serve the world joyfully.

All four of these people, perhaps with the exception of Mandy Moore who merely gave me the base image of an angel, have taught me lessons so invaluable and transcendent, that if my spirit were to be boiled down to its base elements, inevitably the residue of Merne, Gwen and Laura would remain after my spirit had evaporated. Kindreds spirits only come, they do not go. Spirits are eternal and we know when we meet them. It isn't the feeling of a higher degree of joy that so enraptures us, but a completely different kind of joy that captures us when blessed with their presence. I hope you too have experienced angels on earth; seen the face of God in a friend or loved one. These things are beautiful and God blesses us so, so that by reflecting even half of the light of our angels into the lives of those that we interact with, we bless the world.

"I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits, unless I spend four hours a day at least--and it is commonly more than that--sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields, absolutely free from all worldly engagements." Henry David Thoreau

Thoreau; the preeminent granola-munching, wood-wandering hippie. A man who, from his early days, chose to live a countercultural lifestye. The collect frightened him and the woods, though not readily welcoming him, did not explicitly reject his presence. So Thoreau found peace, alone in the woods. Recently, Thoreau's social detachment and natural engagement has become increasingly more attractive to me. Always shy, socially awkward and reclusive, my life often feels like a daily struggle, fighting to break into impersonal social networks, all the while questioning why so much energy is concentrated (and wasted) on something I am wanting less and less to a part of. Like Thoreau, I have always found my mind clearest and heart lightest in the woods, with the occasional visit of a good friend, worrying not about the things of this world, but instead living free on the bounties of nature. Energy restored. Someday, maybe someday Walden 2.0 will happen. Maybe not. For now, walking must suffice. Thus, Walking will be my Thoreau essay of choice for the time being. Walden will be waiting for the day when I go to woods to live deliberately.

On the Up and UP

Currently, I am sitting at Schultes Coffee House, looking out the large front window, snow falling gently on this June day. Crazy.

Well, the last couple of days have marked a turning point in my running break and recovery. My legs are beginning to come around. My arms are beginning to gain strength too. It helps to know the cause of problems when trying to fix something. Firstly, my right knee condition I have now come to know as retropatellar displacement. Basically, it is an advanced form of runner's knee. My right knee has always done this. It doesn't track nearly as cleanly as my left knee and consequently, over time and over-use, slowly shifts its load bearing to the outside of the knee. Over time my outer quadricep continues to strengthen and pull the knee even further to the outside, my inner quad then, on account of its now relinquished duties, weakens and, in my case, becomes atrophic and actually dies. It makes perfect sense. Looking straight down my body at my quads in a standing position, my right quad is noticeably narrower and piled up on the outer side of my leg, whereas my left leg appears well-balanced, inner and outer quad muscles. This much I already knew. After some research I found some great exercises to begin strengthening the inner thigh, abductors, adductors, hips and consequently, my knees. After one round of these exercises with bands, I felt like a new person - both physically and emotionally. I felt hopeful, that I had found a remedy to something that has been bothering me for some time now. I will continue doing these exercises 5-7 times a week through June before I start jogging again in July. When I return to the pavement and trail I went to be absolutely healthy and ready to run smart and clean. Game on! 

A Story

Not too long ago, perhaps 10 minutes before now - the actual timeline is of no consequence -, there was an incident. An incident. Of course, the whole of our lives are simple strings of incidences, some good, some bad, some better than good, some badder than bad, or worse... Regardless, this incident was an extraordinary incident. It, the incident, surpassed that of what is considered normal and thus became a story worth telling.

Men will be men, it is said. Vein the same, it is true that women will be women. Having now defined genders with genders, it is time... for what? The story.

The incident, men and women, the story is this:

Sauntering the path of most direct approach (to the local pub), Paul, the sole character of this story, was lost in thought.

'To what end will I be used in this life', Paul wondered as he ambled prudently. 'Is happiness a pipe dream in this work-a-day world of which I have become, what has come to feel like, a permanent fixture?'

'My friends? Well wait. What friends have I? Is life about that? Is my, our, everyone's purpose in this life to build relations with others, social networks? Is that where true joy lies? Perhaps. Are my social insecurities but sly deceptions of this wonderful truth? There it lies, the truth all around me, in the faces, the actions, the words, the expressions, the smiles and the joy of those kindred spirits nearest I. How can such truth feel so unnatural? Is that natural? Likely not. There must be an explanation for this. There must be an underlying truth, undergirding the lies that are continually at work eroding my confidence and destroying my sense of place in the social institutions of this world.'

Just then, in the middle of what was on track to be one of the longer musings of Paul's jumbled mind, a truck cut hard right mere inches from the bard's front. Razed by the near death experience, Paul's thoughts turned presently to the immediacy of his philosophizing.

'I must find my place - purpose and future - in this world immediately,' Paul vented.'Lost, I am but a nomad without a herd, wandering aimlessly towards a bitter end.'

Life had taught Paul that lessons, true, spiritual, existential questions, cannot be forced on one's own conscious. Answers to our deepest, most definitive questions come on their own time, on God's time. But by our own volition we are without the most basic answers that every soul has sought. God decides. Our dreaming is too conservative, too weak, too shallow, Paul knew. The greatest answers arrive when we have ceased seeking out the branches from which they spur, and instead seek the trunk from which they originate. Suddenly, losing himself on this stream of thought, Paul found himself at great peace, grounded in this new and wonderful truth. He need not think about the trivialities of life, the answers to his most basic life questions. The trunk, the strength of the tree, God, is where he must fix his focus. Fear fades, worry abates and life comes. This is freedom.

'How could I have missed such a simple truth?', Paul sighed.

'Living in freedom, in the creator's freedom, I am free, absolutely free to live, not worry, to be, not seem, and to carry-on as if everyday were my first and without fear, the last. Life is not defined by what I think, but by how I live. Comfort. Complete, consummate comfort. I am free.'

Paul continued on his journey to the pub, arriving some forty minutes after setting out from his one bedroom flat. A contagious smile sat wonderfully upon his face as he sat straight, proud and with assured peace at the bar, sipping contentedly on a wonderful brew. Doubtless, his present disposition spread wildly to the other patrons of the pub, without his knowing, but in his knowing existed his recent revelation - a revelation that would forever change his life and inadvertently affect the lives all the souls he subsequently encountered.