Making it

I have to toot my own horn here. I am making it. I am proud to say that I have not run a step in nearly a week. I am regaining my self-control. I did not realize how beaten down my body was until I started resting. My body is recovering, slowly but surely. Without question, running, at all, right now, would do more harm than good. So walks it is. I love it. Wow. I love running. But I also love not running. I will be able to fully enjoy my love, once again, when my body is in 100% fighting shape. So, for now, I love not running. I am making it.

This is another nerdy running thing, but I played around with my monthly miles over the last 16 months and found a block that I hit just over 6000 miles in 365 consecutive days;

- 16.4 mile daily average
- 55.5 miles/highest day
- 3 miles/lowest day

Walking Tall

I think that is the title of a recent spoof on "Walk the Line", but it is of no matter. I haven't run a step since last Friday. It is on. I have finally locked into the non-running lifestyle that I have so desperately pined for the last 8 months. I have been putting in a lot of good walks and stationary bike riding to get my blood flowing and metabolism charged. Additionally, or as usual, as it were, I have maintained my daily core work out, with a few modifications; added to the usual ball crunch routine are planks and a few stretches. Too, I have been doing ball squats and lunges every other day to rebuild my legs.

My knees are slowly but surely recovering. My whole body is recovering. There was a time, towards the end of the 14 months of continuous running effort, when I could hardly (physically) get out of bed each morning. Now, I am getting up with considerably less effort. Stairs are becoming tolerable again. Anyways, the good news is things are healing and I am not planning to upset the balance of things for some time. In other words, I will not be running even a few weeks after the morning a wake up and everything feels 100%. Nothing but total recovery will do.

Good news, I am rediscovering the Good News. Thanks to a chat with Don last night at his place, my heart was, yet again, opened to the wonderful Truth of Jesus. The last several months have been tough and it is in those rough times that I have longed for so much more than my life alone could sate. Truthfully, I had become very selfish and worldly over the last several years. It has been a slow fade, so no serious attention at any point in time was paid to it, but as life has continually become more bleak - as this and that pursuit and reasonable expectation of lasting joy came and went without stay - I have been pushed to the edge of my human limits and capabilities. There is no more in me; I exhausted my physical energy through incessant running; my mental energy in college and more recently, my work; my social energy sometime long ago in a land quite far from here. Nothing I have done or can do has made my life any better or worthy. This has been the direction my spiritual self has been going. Fortunately, as Don came to remind me, there is nothing we can do or need to do to receive the wonderful, joyful life offered by Jesus. In our simple acknowledgement of His sacrifice for our lives and subsequent gift of the Holy Spirit we are free, absolutely free to become who we were meant to be; not by human measure or the measure created by ourselves which we fight, but by the measure of the dispensation of the love given to us from above. We are free. If Jesus loves us (yes, He is a living god) with eternal, bottomless love, how could we not then love ourselves and overflow with love for others? This is what I have learned the hard - but necessary - way.

A Death Cab song

Recently, this Death Cab for Cutie song has been at the top of my playlists. It has always been one of my favorite Death Cab tunes, but lately, for whatever reason, it has surged to the top of all of my playlists...and for good reason. The piano accompaniment is lyrical and poetic - a repetitive, simple tune; the words, or poem (my personal classification), is tantalizing, provocative and well, a melancholic set of poignant lyrics. Check out the song on the web, or enjoy the lyrics below.

"What Sarah Said"

And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds
But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said that "Love is watching someone die"

So who's going to watch you die?..

Thoughts While Drinking Coffee

- What is the purpose of a remote start on a new model moped? I walked pasted a 'ped' for sale this morning, with a sign attached to it, advertising that the moped came complete with a remote starter.

- I am happy to announce that Stevia is slowly but surely making its way into the mainstream, diet, beverage market. Both Vitamin Water and Sobe have diet flavored waters, sweetened by Stevia. I have had both, not bad. Doubtless, the taste of Stevia is distinct - hyper-sweet -, but the drinks are pretty well sweetened. It won't be long before we see Cokes and Pepsis Stevia products.

- It is raining in Great Falls, currently. Perfect timing, what with all of the yard work folks were able to complete yesterday. Unfortunate for those having grad parties today. But it isn't too bad of a rain. Light enough.

That is it for me. Have a happy Sunday.

Montana made a man out of me

Montana made a man out of me. After spending 4 relatively balmy years in Colorado, Montana made a man out of me. -20 air temps, incessant winds, endless secondary roads and kind folks are the defining characteristics of my last year in Montana. It should be known that this post and all of the connections made therein (between my experiences in Montana and the impact that those moments had on me) are in relation to the last 10 months of continuous running - and thus the runs.

The list that follows chronicles the distinct moments in which Montana made a man out of me;

- The wind... My first hurdle to overcome upon moving to MT in July, was coming to terms with the incessant winds that are so much a part of the climate here on the eastern slope of the Rockies. Running nearly a marathon a day for the 30 days of September 2008, numbed me to this infernal force.

- The people... On a longer run out in the country, I became lost (as in seriously lost in the coulees, with no vantage point to be had). After 18, maybe 20 miles, I was beginning to worry, as the town I was expecting to be nearing, was nowhere in sight. What's worse is the lack of people out in the area. The entire run I saw one car, and that was at about 20 miles. I waved the woman down and she, in turn, being an incredibly kind Montanan, taxied me back to Centerville.

- The terrain... The Le Grizz 50, made a man out of me. After taking the MT 50 mile state champion title for 2008, Miss MT and I joked about me being Mr. MT on account of the USATF title. 

- The cold... This winter, without the option of treadmill running, it was either suck it up and run outside, or not run at all. Of course I chose to run outside. It really wasn't a matter of sucking it up either. I came to love running in the cold. It is truly invigorating. -35 degree wind chills on Saturday morning long runs made a man out of me. 

- Becoming numb... Ultimately, all of the above, played into becoming, perhaps not so much numb as compliant, at peace with the wonderful place that Montana is. Montana made a man out of me. I have gotten to the point that I am honestly disappointed when it is calm, sunny and 70 degrees out. I now loving in adverse conditions. 

Montana made a man out of me.

Running Plans

In proportion to the physical recovering occurring at present, my ambition for great running feats increases. Today, while thinking clearly (meaning not riding a coffee high and sitting quietly), I decided that a notable 24 hour run is my next objective. Doubtless, I am staying the course with this total body recovery, pretty much taking the next two months off. But in the fall I would like to push a pretty good effort over 24 hours (150-160 miles). The Le Grizz 50 is on my radar again and would serve as a great training run for the 24 hour to follow, perhaps 3-4 weeks later. As a training run for Le Grizz I am considering doing the Governor's Cup Marathon in Billings, mid-September. I will have to look into the dates, but I am fairly certain that the GCM is 3 weeks ahead of Le Grizz. So... Training... something like ridiculous mileage August through October is what I am looking at for 2009. My main performance objective, initially, will be setting a new PR for the 50. I would like to run sub-6:15 at Hungry Horse. Then, if everything is firing properly and my fire is still burning for the 24 hour adventure, I will shift into hyper-focus mode and take a three week preparation for an all out 24 hour effort. 

This is exciting. After the last 14 months of high mileage, I am excited to have a reasonable plan; a couple of months off to recover, followed by a couple of months of intense training and goal smashing. 

Rising Slowly, Observing the Signs

My body is slowly and not so surely recovering from my 14 month push (see below - kind of nerdy I know).

The slow pace of the recovery makes perfect sense given the mileage, but is still difficult to fully accept. Good news though, I am at peace with my change in lifestyle. A lot less stress really - both physically and mentally. Not much new to report. Just keeping on, keeping on. Peace.