Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Walking Tall

I think that is the title of a recent spoof on "Walk the Line", but it is of no matter. I haven't run a step since last Friday. It is on. I have finally locked into the non-running lifestyle that I have so desperately pined for the last 8 months. I have been putting in a lot of good walks and stationary bike riding to get my blood flowing and metabolism charged. Additionally, or as usual, as it were, I have maintained my daily core work out, with a few modifications; added to the usual ball crunch routine are planks and a few stretches. Too, I have been doing ball squats and lunges every other day to rebuild my legs.

My knees are slowly but surely recovering. My whole body is recovering. There was a time, towards the end of the 14 months of continuous running effort, when I could hardly (physically) get out of bed each morning. Now, I am getting up with considerably less effort. Stairs are becoming tolerable again. Anyways, the good news is things are healing and I am not planning to upset the balance of things for some time. In other words, I will not be running even a few weeks after the morning a wake up and everything feels 100%. Nothing but total recovery will do.

Good news, I am rediscovering the Good News. Thanks to a chat with Don last night at his place, my heart was, yet again, opened to the wonderful Truth of Jesus. The last several months have been tough and it is in those rough times that I have longed for so much more than my life alone could sate. Truthfully, I had become very selfish and worldly over the last several years. It has been a slow fade, so no serious attention at any point in time was paid to it, but as life has continually become more bleak - as this and that pursuit and reasonable expectation of lasting joy came and went without stay - I have been pushed to the edge of my human limits and capabilities. There is no more in me; I exhausted my physical energy through incessant running; my mental energy in college and more recently, my work; my social energy sometime long ago in a land quite far from here. Nothing I have done or can do has made my life any better or worthy. This has been the direction my spiritual self has been going. Fortunately, as Don came to remind me, there is nothing we can do or need to do to receive the wonderful, joyful life offered by Jesus. In our simple acknowledgement of His sacrifice for our lives and subsequent gift of the Holy Spirit we are free, absolutely free to become who we were meant to be; not by human measure or the measure created by ourselves which we fight, but by the measure of the dispensation of the love given to us from above. We are free. If Jesus loves us (yes, He is a living god) with eternal, bottomless love, how could we not then love ourselves and overflow with love for others? This is what I have learned the hard - but necessary - way.

1 comment:

Deane Christianson said...

I'm glad to hear your body is recovering, but I disagree that you have become selfish and worldly... you have been very giving of yourself, selflessly and have done a great job with the kids at Centerville and helping out the school. It's hard for you to see or reflect on all that you've accomplished in the past years, but you have grown as a human, a spiritual being and as an adult. I don't know of too many dads that can look up to their son and feel that they have become such a great young man that is going to set the world on fire!