Tuesday, June 2, 2009

On Humbling Experiences

"Be and not seem." R.W. Emerson

Doubtless, there have been times in all of our lives when we have discovered that something is not as it seemed - when 'seeming' replaces being. This has become my most recent definition of humbling experiences; when the reality of 'being', suddenly and without warning, supplants our 'seeming', our pretending (actions we thought were sincere, but knew no not the higher Truth, blinded by our own volition), and grounds us in what is, ridding us of what is not. Some mornings I wake up to a World that is not quite the World I remember the previous evening. Is it more real or less true? Only a baseline, objective measure can answer that question. For me, my wiring lends itself to clearer thought in the morning, and consequently I see the components of my life in a distinctly true light. Some mornings my mind is blown by the frivolity of thought the night before. It is humbling. Being humbled, lately, for me, has meant seeing more clearly and rejoicing in that seeing rather than sulking in the embarrassment that often occupies humbling experiences. Grow when the World is not what it seemed. Take pride in who you are under the true luminary. These are the thoughts that have been streaming lately. 

I am not running right now. I can't. Truth be told, I am having difficulty with my activities of daily living. I am weak. A humbling experience? Yes. Going from feeling strong as an ox, running 17 miles a day to struggling with stairs and rising from a seated position, is a blow, to be sure, but the experience is reminding me of what really matters - love, hope, faith in peaceful living with friends and family. Fortunately, I think that I am getting stronger, but each day my expectations of a quick recovery seem further from the truth and closer to a 'seeming', a feigning of existence, that I have so arrogantly flaunted. Deep breath. Time to be? Yes. Seeming, goodbye. Living? Yes. God bless.

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